Yet another late night ....

*sigh* just when I thought it was all finally over and I had completely forgotten about him , he once again becomes the cause of my insomnia. So here I am writing another poem to hopefully set my mind at ease ... For the night atleast. Here we gooooo , it's called "Thoughts of You."

Thoughts of You


It's been months and I thought I had finally forgotten all about you.
But, here I am again; I thought I was really through...
Through with the late nights just reminiscing about what we had what we've been through. 
And I realize now how real it was when I said I'd always love you 
Cause here I am turning down everyone that comes my way cause they're nothing compared to what I had in you. 
It's like I want to move on 
but, what I'm looking for is everything that is you.
And I know you feel it too because that love we had was all so brand new
For you see I taught you the meaning of love and you showed me that I could love again too
I just want you back in my life cause really you're all I ever think of 
But I could never tell you that because you could never reciprocate the love that I yearn to share with you, my love.

New Poem

       I was watching this movie the other day with my family and some aspects of it just really reminded me of my own life. They kept repeating "how do I unlove you" and it just inspired me to write a new poem, so here it is :) 

How Do I Unlove You

I told you that I would always love you.

Oh, you don't know how much of that was true.

You see I loved everything about you

Even though i felt your love never really grew. 

I made you my everything without a second thought, 

But it seemed I was always your last. 

You forgot about me , took me for granted

but I still believed that I wasn't enough,  we were stagnant.

So please tell me,

How do I unlove you?

Cause I don't think it'll ever stop

This love I have solely for you.

What's love ?

It's 5:38am and I'm laying in bed and my thoughts are just running rampant and I will never fall back asleep at this rate. So I decided to finally make a blog so I can just hop on here whenever something's on my mind or if I need a release from all these bottled up emotions I have. So this is what's on my mind tonight.

Today I was out with my friend to lunch and he asked me, "how did I know when I was in love" and I quickly retorted “you just know”. So cliché and wishy-washy but that’s honestly all I could think of at the moment cause I dare not try to reminisce on my past … In front of people haha. But now, as I actually contemplate the question and think back to when I had fallen in love I still remember the exact moments of when and where it happened. So here’s my real answer.

I knew I was in love when one day, I had looked at my boyfriend and it felt completely different. It was as if my heart slowed, like a machine being shut down and the gears coming to an almost complete stop, but everything in reality, time and space was moving at the same speed and all I could do was feel. In that moment it really did feel like a light bulb went off in my head and I just thought, “Fuck, I really do love this person”. It’s honestly all to surreal and you just feel true bliss in that moment. After that, staring into his eyes was all to easy. He made me feel as if everything would turn out right as long as I had him by my side for the rest of my life and if I were to die at that moment I wouldn’t mind it cause my last moments were with him in that state of complete bliss.

 To me, I found that “love” is just like art; you don’t look at them the same as everything/anybody else, you look at them and it makes you feel something, something indescribable, something that you feel is supposed to be so intangible for any normal human being but, you experienced it; it’s yours. You don’t feel this feeling only once but every single time you hold their hand, kiss them, hold them or just look at them. Therefore, when I find someone that can actually make me feel this way I know my feelings for that person are true and will never fade because that to me is love in its purest form. But hey, that’s just me. Maybe other people have experienced it in other ways but I know they can all agree with me that falling in love is one of the most amazing feelings a human could ever wish to experience.